Ain't Got No Time For Expectations
I don’t particularly want to share this shortcoming, but it is something I am wanting to work on during Project 42, so it would seem counter to my goal if I don’t — and that is giving without expectation.
I don’t hold to giving from a place of expectation. I’m not married to doing something to receive something in return. However, when I start to notice a pattern of the ‘taking’ and ‘asking’ becoming more significant than the reciprocation in my life, I do find that I get a bit bratty in my head.
I feel like I naturally give a lot, organically share my time or talents, provide things to others without expecting or even asking for anything in return — and I adore it. It gets me high in a way. It’s one of the things about myself that I dig.
But sometimes I find myself dipping below the line. Regardless of what I know to be right, there have been certain periods over the years when I don’t get the warm fuzzies from all the giving.
I haven’t figured out the pattern yet or what takes it from being a joyous thing to a meh thing. It’s frustrating when I dive into the ‘I have expectations’ zone — I don’t care for this version of me. I’d prefer if she went on permanent vacation. Particularly because, as I said, I super love doing things for other people. I like making things better for someone or improving on an idea or even doing a person a solid regardless of my circumstances at the moment.
This is all a slippery slope for me. It makes me realize how much I need other people to want to help me too. Said with more articulation: I want people to want to help me succeed also.
That realization makes me feel no bueno because this momma likes to think she doesn’t need any of that stuff — and it defeats the point of giving without expectation.
So how to shift? I have no flipping idea. This one has had me stumped for years because I know what Norm would have said to me, “Giving with expectations is not giving.”
Yeah, sure, I know — but what do I do now? What do I do when this feeling bubbles up? Because my go-to is to just argue with it which solves nothing in the moment.
Maybe I’ll google it — lol.
So I am putting it on my “To Tackle” list. It is something I am hoping to figure out during Project 42, but I may still be searching for answers in Project 88. We shall see.
Until then, I’ll keep doing my thing, hit up google for wisdom and guidance, and keep giving along the way.
Wise words from Gary Vaynerchuck discovered from my Post Blog Writing Google search:
“That’s the key when trying to foster any relationship. Because as much as you might give and although you might feel as if you’re owed something, you’re not. Giving means to give without expectation–to give based on someone else’s needs without assuming something will come back to you in return. So in order for this jab-right hook scenario to play itself out, you need to understand that nobody owes you anything. This understanding and lack of expectation allow me to be comfortable providing 51% of the relationship, because in having zero expectations and not assuming someone will reciprocate on the other end, I’ve got everything to gain.
When you put others in front of yourself, whether intended or unintended, things just happen. It’s magical. Be it in life or business, I implore you to always seek to be the giver first. If you can give without expectation, you’ve got everything to gain. It’s not an easy trait to acquire but it’s certainly something I advise everyone to work towards. Not only will it make you feel good, but it’ll provide you the leverage that you can utilize if the opportunity comes knocking.” — source https://www.garyvaynerchuk.com/giving-without-expectation/
Well, this made me feel a bit happier about it all:
P.S. Please don’t anyone ask me if this is about you — It’s about me. If you feel like it’s about you, consider giving more just for the personal high that comes from giving. ;)