Guest Post: Anjua Maximo
The Woman. The Mother.
The Go-getter.
Before I even began this whole blogging/sharing journey, I knew I wanted to have guest writers. When I was considering who to ask first, Anjua Maximo, Life & Movement Coach, was the first person that popped in my head.
For those of you who do not know Anjua Maximo, you will — trust me.
She is the whole package: a person with a strong sense of self, a smart woman, a giver, a builder, an ‘I will not play small’ person. On top of that, a wife, a mother, and entrepreneur many times over.
Anjua always has a lot on her plate, yet she seems to take the punches and challenges that come along with wanting to play big.
Through Q & A, I hope to give readers a sense of who my guests are and how they navigate through life with everything that comes at them — and maybe some tips and tricks, perspective and a healthy dose of inspiration.
So here is Anjua. Make sure you check her out on Instagram @theelectriclife. She is one bad-ass soul.
How do you do it all? Be the mom, be the wife, run a growing/thriving business and still stay on top to being the truest version of yourself? What are some specific roadblocks to watch out for?
I don't have a formula or steps. I can only go off of what feels right and what doesn't. I enroll the kids in what their dad and I are doing with our business and why it may take us away some nights or even cause us to forget their lunch. Yes, that last part, it's happened and it's hard not to go into a shit spiral of guilt. Of course, my kid didn't starve that day, he was given a lunch by the school but it starts a fissure of doubt in your mind sometimes. And if you let that fissure continue to spread and crack then you're in trouble. Because out of that crack comes oozing the judgment and comparison that can destroy some moms that struggle with balancing a career and a family. Am I doing right by my kids? Should I be around more? Will they resent us pursuing something we felt called to do? Honestly, who knows but I hope not. It's in that moment that I make fast moves to seal that crack of self doubt right the fuck up by focusing on what I DO know. I love my children and tell them all the time. While I am not perfect I am there for them. They are happy, they are loved, they are supported. This I know for sure.
My mom often asked me how I fit everything in. My answer is always, “I don’t know. I just do.” So I turn this questions to you… wearing all the hats your so gracefully sport, how do you fit everything in?
I don't fit everything in. I've learned to make my peace with that. I am just not going to get it all done. So I have to prioritize and I have to let go of control to an extent. The things I choose to let go of are the things that will begin to make me feel like I am not doing enough or doing it well enough. So I release myself from stressing that the toys are fucking everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I release myself from the stress that the dishes and laundry are piling up. I release myself from the guilt of feeding my kids take-out more that 3x in a week. Sometimes it's going to be that way and it's not because I wasn't busting ass to get it done. I know I'm doing my best and fuck all the rest. Like, just say NO to dragging yourself for not having 14 arms and the ability to pull 5 extra hours of day light out of your ass.
What would you say are your biggest challenges, and what tips do you care to share concerning how to navigate them?
Creating healthy boundaries and being a stand for my self care. I honestly want to help people any way I can, especially if I think I have information that could help. The problem is that it requires a tremendous amount of energy out put to hold space for someone and their problem and then set off to help them solve it. I had to get OK with saying no. No I can't get on the phone right now but maybe tomorrow. Or even just being OK with saying no period. I have no more right now to give so I'm just going to say no and trust that this person is able to seek consul from someone else. It's not on me to have to save the day, they will figure it out and hopefully find the support they're in need of. So hard but needed sometimes.
A wise woman once said Fvck This Sh!t and lived happily ever after🤣😂😜😂
#imdone
Good news is he is very happy with this sticky, lumpy ass slime
Follow up to previous question: Do you find it easy to give yourself permission to step back from it all?
Actually I feel like this is something I am getting really good at it terms of the overall business. Again, I've learned the hard way how important stepping back is so at this point when I say I'm done working for the day I mean it.
I believe in personal boundaries and I have always had a sense that you do as well. What have you found to be the most rewarding parts about honoring your own personal boundaries? And how has this evolved as you’ve grown into the woman you are now?
Well as I said before, it's hard to say no but it really is only a temporary feeling of discomfort. It's like learning a new exercise - it's going to be exhausting, you'll be unsure, lack confidence and feel weak. Then as you continue to use this muscle, you will start to feel stronger, intentional with your movement and it starts to feel good. I mean that's what most of us want right? To feel good? So we need to stop doing the shit that doesn't feel good. For short term discomfort you could potentially be saving yourself long term frustration, anger, energy depletion, I mean just everything. But we resist and go along with what everyone around us wants so as not to make waves. WHY? That's not selflessness if you feel like you're depleted at the end. When you choose to do something free of guilt, or fear, or FOMO you generally are not going to feel sucked dry.
I say “Self Care” — You say?
Personal survival.
Followup question to previous: Why do you think it is so important to honor self care?
The same reason they tell you to fit your oxygen mask on first before helping someone else in the event of an emergency landing. You're just not much good to yourself or the world if you're dead.
I often think, “No one told me this!” when it comes to being a wife, motherhood and parenting. What do you think are some of the common myths surrounding being hitched and raising a family?
Oh my God, seriously, where do I begin. I think it's a myth that once you become a mom your sexuality ceases to exist or must be hidden. So weird. Why? I think I really was shocked to discover that just because I ate relatively healthily that my kids would live for broccoli. I talked a lot of shit back in the days about parents feeding kids fast food. I totally believe the universe is paying me back because my kids only eat BW3s and fresh air essentially. I think it's a straight up myth that married couples have to lose their attraction to each other or that sex becomes non existent. That's just not been my experience but that's not to say that my husband and I haven't had to do the work to keep that connection powerful between us. Some times we're really on point and sometimes we're off but the love is always there so we identify the issue and find our way back to each other. I think it's a myth that you can't raise kids and run a business successfully. I mean women have been doing it forever. Whether they own the business or work full time for somebody else's business, women have raised amazing leaders doing both since forever. Is it a better or worse experience than being raised by a stay-at-home mom? No, it's just a different experience.
What completely geeks you out with inspiration?
Lol, Oprah. I WILL WORK WITH HER ONE DAY. I'm going to keep declaring it until it happens. I love anything to do with personal development. And I live for the moment someone finally embraces their beauty and self worth for the first time. That never ever gets old.
Would you say your are more of a hunter or a gatherer? And Why?
I have learned to be agile enough to be both. It just depends on what is needed of me.
Finally, what’s your take on garden gnomes?
NOPE, nope, nope.