Friends are the worst. They ask you to do things that will move you past the gunk that holds you back from forward progress. They ask you to take part in things that open up your eyes to the possibility that your soul may be closed for business unintentionally, or that your inner voice isn’t connecting with your real-world message. That maybe you’ve been blocking things for longer than you could fathom or built a wall more impermeable than ever imagined. Either way, you’ve been challenged to do the work of unearthing that bright-eyed girl with the untapped potential and big, blinding dreams.

Here’s to being in the work — and to the squirrely friends.

My dearest darling girl, I hear you. I see you with all the clarity that one soul can have for another. I witness you observing your surrounding, fearfully, hopeful that you will be the one chosen this time. I look upon you knowing you are feeling uncertainty at this moment — anticipating rejection or worse yet, experiencing another moment of invisibility.

My heart aches for you. My heart aches that I can’t hold you in my arms, look into your face and tell you how truly magnificent I believe you to be, regardless of you not being like the ones whom you want to emulate.

The fact that you have your own drum to march to is something to be nurtured, cultivated, and cherished all the days of your life.

You should never have felt one moment of darkness that comes with people asking you to quiet down, play small, don’t shine too bright.

I cry that you’ve lost your authentic voice because you were asked not to speak time after time, to keep your opinion to yourself, or not share too much. I cry that you’ve lost the connection to your soul, lost sight of what makes you soar, and the vision you hold for your life. I cry that the closest you will ever come to these feeling and emotions are when you are thousands of miles away from everything and everyone you’ve known to sit in places your never been, surrounded by perfect strangers who hold no judgment and listen when you speak.

I worry that you won’t hear my words because you are in a place that I can no longer reach you.

Please, please hear me:

You are the kindest of souls.

Your heart is bigger than big.

You are so smart and clever and brave.

You have a will that is unmatched.

You have a sparkle that is both beautiful and blinding.

You have a voice — a good, strong, healthy, bright, articulate voice that will be heard by the people who genuinely value your existence.

I need you to trust that I love you. I am proud of how you choose to grow into adulthood. I am proud of the work you will continually put into yourself that most will not — and even more so of the awareness and opportunities that you will give to your children.

Trust that big things are coming your way, my little love. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and hold your head high — and don’t ever stop being true to you until your very last breath.

,

My Dearest Self